Long-Distance Quality Time

Both Jon and I are quality time people. Which is lovely, because we both speak the same love language. However, this gets really tricky when you are in a long-distance relationship! The idea to this blog entry came when Jon asked me if he could write a post in order to thank me 'publicly' for a gift I made him. Since it is now a little late for a Christmas post, I realized this would be a perfect opportunity to give some advice to other "long-distancers" and share what Jon and I do to spend quality time together- while apart.

Number 1: Scheduling Exclusive Dates

And I mean: Don't just "fit each other in somewhere." It's nice to receive a phone call from your partner when he is on his way to work or to chat while you are doing the dishes. But you need to set a time when you ONLY focus on each other. Set a time in advance, get comfortable and then focus 100% on your "digital date" - no matter if you video chat or if you just talk on the phone. This shows respect for your partner and undivided appreciation for your relationship. By the way, granting your counterpart undivided attention also works well in your face-to-face relationships - so when you don't HAVE to use a phone to communicate (because you are actually in the same room!), don't simultaneously check your Instagram, Newsfeed or order a shirt on Amazon. All that can wait. You have a real human being to talk to. That's why whenever Jon and I get to be with each other in person, we are very hard to reach via social media 😉

Number 2: Spending Everyday-Life Together

This is basically the opposite of number 1. This time, DO include each other in your errands. Jon and I have had wonderful study-dates where he was working on learning about online marketing or studying German and I was grading my students' papers. It's so lovely to look up from what you're doing and see your partner work "by your side." This is also a great way of keeping each other accountable! Hint: Put your phones on mute if the other is studying out loud.

Number 3: Daily Devotions

Both Jon and I agree that doing devotions together is a great way to start our day. However, while we are apart, we still do the same devotions "together" - just with a time difference. And the outcome is amazing: Whoever does the devotions first, comments on them via WhatsApp. Usually, I get to read the devotions first, because Germany is 6 hours ahead. While riding the train on my way to work, I reflect on the readings and then let Jon know my thoughts in a text or voice message. This way, Jon basically gets to wake up to two devotions: the reading and my thoughts about it.

Number 4: Virtual Movie Nights

Even though you won't be able to cuddle up on your partner's shoulder - you can still do movie nights together. First, agree on a movie that you both want to watch, then on a day when you'll watch it. You can also do the same thing with a book. Jon and I are currently reading the same book - even though we changed it up a bit: Jon read the book first and used a highlighter to mark the sections that really stuck out to him. When he was done, he handed me the book and now I get to read it and we talk about it on the phone.
Our current recommendation for a virtual movie date: "A Star is Born." And if you are looking for a really good book: "Pastrix" by Nadia Bolz-Weber.

Number 5: Snail Mail

This is one of my favorites. The possibilities are endless! You can send postcards, hand-made gifts, printed photos in the mail or also order something for your partner on Amazon - of course without letting him/her know beforehand.
We all know the excitement we feel when you go to the post box, and an actual letter from someone you know is in there! A real package and hand-written letters make your heart beat just a little faster.
This past Christmas season, I made Jon an Advent-Christmas calendar, in which I wrapped a little personalized gift for each day from December 1 to December 24th.

And now we are getting to Jon's part of this blog post: 

This post is coming from me, Jon, the luckiest guy in the world! There are many reasons why this is true, and here is just one. I'm not really a gift giving or receiving guy, so when it comes to birthday and Christmas presents, I get a little anxious. I remember when I turned 16, my dad bought me my first car. I can assure you I was very grateful, however, my grand expression to my father was, 'Thanks dad. This is great!" I get a lot of anxiety anticipating how to express the proper amount of gratitude for a gift. You know what I mean right? I don't want to express too much, otherwise it will come across as fake, but I don't want to express too little and come across as ungrateful, or even entitled.

Well, this year, I didn't have to worry about any of that when it came to receiving gifts from Kat. She sent to me, in the mail, a crazy fun gift. It was an advent string, which had 24 gifts of varying shapes and sizes attached to it. Each day, I was to open one gift, and send her a picture. I did one better. Each day, I opened a couple gifts (hey... it's hard to wait!) and video-taped myself.  Then I sent the videos to her.

Enjoy watching my eccentric approach to bringing a smile to Kat's face, despite the distance that separated us during Christmas season.